I'm going to be brutally honest.
Because this is where I can be real.
I feel this constant pressure of having to already piece my life together.
Sounds easy doesn't it...
piecing things together.
It's just like putting two pieces of a puzzle together.
Just that the piece don't fit,
and they're not even from the same puzzle.
And my hands are trembling,
and I'm blindfolded,
and I can't breathe.
Plus there's fire.
Fire freaking everywhere.
Before you overthink anything,
nothing is going wrong and I really do love what I'm doing.
I love being able to push my creative limits and come up with crazier content,
but sometimes I can't.
because I feel I'm not good enough.
And though that is THE most cliche thing to say,
I really feel it.
I don't want to give up.
Not this early in the game and I know there is no reason to give up.
But I miss security.
I miss being told what to do and I'll just do it.
Here's me protecting that little flame that has been sparked.
Sometimes it's just me sitting around that flame,
praying and hoping that it'll grow.
So I'll just sit there,
like I do on Friday nights.
and I'd write down one million ideas.
Then I'll freeze because everything seems too big for a freshie like me.
I'll psych myself out and go to bed disappointed that I couldn't do it.
If you were looking for a nice ending,
I'm afraid I don't have it yet.
I'd just like to know,
do any of you feel it too?
Or am I the only one?